The Crippled Prince of Balclutha

Now this is a story all about how

our lives got twist turned upside down

And I'd like to take a minute as you sit on your sofa

to tell you how I became the prince* of a town called Balclutha

(Bolivian woodpipe and llama hide drum interlude)

In Central West Bolivia, city of La Paz

in the altitude is where we find a Mike and a Yas

Huffing and wheezing and puffing our cheeks

just eating some pancakes and wandering the streets

When a couple of guys got it into their heads

"Lets go hurtling down the Road of Death"

I got in one little crash , the x-ray was the proof yeah

"You're moving with ya mum and ya dad to Balclutha"

(woodpipe and xylophone)

I grizzled and I moaned but it was pretty clear

Our travel time was up, time to get outa here

If anything insurance guys were a pain in the ass

but I thought "na forget it, let's go home, business class!"

(woodpipe solo)

After 6 flights, AB's win and a weekend in Melbourne

we finally got home, off to the surgeon

He did his thing, I got bathed with a loofa

Now I sit on my throne as the prince of Balclutha.

*Like the English royals, the requirements for becoming royalty in Balclutha have recently been changed to stipulate that you cannot be crowned King of Balclutha without at some time in your life having been a 28 year old sickness beneficiary who lives with his parents.

If none of that is very clear to you then you should know that I (Mike) decided to mountainbike down the World's Most Dangerous Road with our mate Chris for a bit of a laugh and some exhilarating fun.  While I managed to achieve both of these things during that fine day, I also managed to crash on the third last corner of the ride! Approximately 600m from the bottom of the road (and a promised spa and buffet lunch) I got caught in some loose gravel at some serious speed and started heading towards the bank of rock on mountain side of the road.  My less than expert attempts to get out of that situation meant that I ended up flipping over the handlebars and landing squarely on my head and left shoulder. 

My shoulder was separated (see the x-ray below) and not dislocated as assumed by our guide who valiantly tried to "pop it back in" for 10 minutes after the crash.  I was encouraging him to get it done as quickly as possible, knowing that when the shock and adrenaline I had coursing through me went away it was going to hurt a hell of a lot more!  Of course it could not be popped in, and the decision was made to jump back in the van and drive back up the rutted, steep and winding WMDR back to La Paz and a hospital. 

The hour and a bit that it took to get to the top of the WMDR and back onto the sealed road was the most excruciating thing I've ever had to experience.  I closed my eyes, clenched my teeth on some rolled up cardboard and tried to hold my arm as still as possible as we bumped and jerked up the road trying to avoid all the other riders still on their way down.  Adding insult to injury was the Bryan Adams, Bon Jovi, Phil Collins and ABBA medley the driver was playing on the way back....Sorry Phil, but it wasn't just another day for you and me in paradise!

Here are a few snaps of the day and the x-ray to show the damage to my shoulder:

Game face - bring it on! Also, full faced helmet turned out to be the right decision!

Me and Chris at the top of the sealed section of the ride

Made it to the gravel part just fine, passing cars along the way

Pretty glad I headed for the right side of the road

When my shoulder was still in tip top shape

A little perspective view of the WMDR

It really was an awesome ride and a great experience. I had a ball up until the last part.

Chris and I at the last pit stop before the end congratulating ourselves on a job well done! This was taken about 10 minutes before the crash. Such good times.

That clavicle sticking way up there by itself....yeah it's not meant to do that.

The emergency department strapped my shoulder down and it immediately started feeling better.  They gave me a script for some painkillers that did a good job and said I should get checked out by a orthopaedic surgeon in a weeks time.  I took my x-ray and went to find Yas to fill her in on the days events....sorry baby.

We stayed a couple more days in La Paz to see how I could handle the strapping and painkiller solution and it was going ok so we took off to Copacabana and Lake Titicaca for 5 days...Yas was carrying a lot of bags though...did I say I was sorry?

We returned to La Paz (a place we were completely over by now) to see the surgeon who took one look at the x-ray and said in very stilted English "Surgery. Go Home".  We were a bit stunned and suddenly had to start thinking about insurance and the logistics of getting home and start asking questions about what this meant for the rest of our trip and future plans.

Our experience with the insurance company is not one we would like to repeat.  It took 5 days of phone calls, emails and finally getting really angry down the phone before any progress was made.  In that time the insurance people would send us one email a day just before they knocked off and invariably would try to weasel out of the policy at every turn.  Eventually we had to spend close to $4000 of our own money in conjunction with the insurers to get back to NZ. 

The insurance bumped me up to first class for the flights home but left Yas back in economy...so very very sorry babe!  First class has ruined all future flying for me. The painkillers meant I couldn't partake of the bar and my steak was a little overcooked...see it wasn't even that good Yas!

This was just the control panel for my seat! There is a button there that makes it give you a back massage!

We got a weekend in Melbourne to catch up with everyone. Soph and Hayley let us crash on the worlds most comfortable pull out sofa and the AB's managed to dispatch Aussie from the World Cup with a lot more ease than the final.  It was great seeing friends again (something we had both missed a lot when travelling) and Melbourne was as awesome as ever.

Cam, Zoie and a classic photobomb Hayley

Hayley and Soph, owners of the worlds most comfortable couch/bed

When we got home to NZ, I went and had a consultation with the surgeon who confirmed the Bolivian doctor's diagnosis and said it was a Grade 5 separation of the shoulder which had a couple of ways of being treated surgically but the best way was to have a full shoulder reconstruction.  So that's what happened.  As part of the surgery they took one of my hamstrings from my left leg and used that to replace the ligaments I had destroyed in the crash. 

I was barely aware of what my name was when Yas snapped this one

Since the surgery I have been slowly rehabbing the leg back to walking without hobbling and keeping my shoulder in its sling as much as possible.  The doc has said that it will be 6 months before I can play sports again, 3 months before work and 6 weeks in the sling.  Yas has been hanging out with her mum and family as well as being a fantastic and patient nurse for me!

Right, the last 3 blogs should bring you all up to speed on what Yas and I have been up to in the last 5 weeks or so!  Not the greatest story going around and it has meant that we are a bit short on funds for any further adventures for a while.  But things could be worse, I could have headed for the cliff side of the road and not the mountain side for instance. 

We have said a number of times since getting back "that's just the way the cookie crumbles" and it always reminds me of this photo I took on the streets of Buenos Aires...you just have to keep smiling and carry on ay.

Cheers guys.

Mike and Yas

La Paz and Lake Titicaca

We arrived in La Paz and were immediately immersed in the craziness.  Our taxi driver (like every driver in La Paz we soon found out) used his horn not as an emergency warning but as a way of letting everyone know that he was in a hurry and everyone better get out of his way, QUICKLY!


We were staying at Hotel Milton on the 5th floor and you really knew about it when the elevator wasn't working.  La Paz is close to 4000m above sea level and everything was an effort, climbing stairs especially!  We spent 5 days in La Paz walking up and down the steep streets, eating at some good and some not so great cafes and restaurants (and taking an ill fated bike trip - more on that in the next post). 

Zebra crossing!  It's a nightmare trying to cross the road in La Paz, luckily there are helpful zebra's to assist

Pancake craving satisfied.  If you're in La Paz go to Blueberries Cafe and get some

I was perfecting the hold the camera at the hip and surreptitiously shoot technique for getting photos.

Typical La Pazian street

View from our room

We really enjoyed how the Bolivian women still wear their traditional dress and the whole time we had been in Bolivia there had been a major protest led by the indigenous people about a proposed road through the Amazon that a Brazilian company wanted to build.  That protest came to a head when we were in La Paz and the procession that stretched along the main street went for about 5 hours!

Each tribe had its own colours and chants

After La Paz we caught a 4 hour bus and boat ride to Copacabana on the shores of Lake Titicaca.  I was in a bit of pain due to a biking injury but had some pretty sweet painkillers and some strapping to keep me going...Yas didn't like the idea of carrying two packs though!  We milled around in Copacabana for 5 days waiting to go back and see a specialist back in La Paz.  Here are some shots of a walk we did on the Isle de Sol and around Copacabana itself.

This kid was fishing for weeds.  Caught heaps too.

Our luxurious lodgings (splashed out after 3 nights in the hostel)

Pretty sure I made a joke about hairy asses when I took this photo...I got an eye-roll for my troubles

Those painkillers were amazing

The 4 hour walk over the top of the island was fairly desolate and hard work in the altitude.  Having a selection of oreos and pringles for breakfast didn't make it any easier.

At the end of the week we caught the bus and boat back to La Paz to see the specialist about my shoulder... I guess it is about time I told that story too.

Sucre, SUcree, SUCREEEEEEE

Sorry for the delay folks, will be posting two or three blogs up in short order to catch up on the last month...by the time you've finished with them all you will probably understand why we haven't been updating! Nothing is ever simple.

Starting from where we left off though! We got out of Uyuni as quickly as we could the next day. Uyuni (much like its famed train cemetery) is a dump.  We caught the bus from Uyuni to Potosi and then another to Sucre (all the while heading East along southern Bolivia).  This was our first experience with Bolivian buses and it was a real shock to the system after our travels in Brazil, Argentina and Chile.  While there were no shock absorbers on the bus, my seat more than made up for this by auditioning for a role as a trampoline in Cirque de Soleil.  The road was steep, rutted gravel with more twists and turns than an epileptic snake and was hard on the body.  We missed our jeep and Edgar.  Luckily we still had a couple of mates (Chris and Simon) from our jeep with us.

We stopped in Potosi expecting to jump on a connecting bus to Sucre (wrong!) that bus doesn't leave for another 2 and a half hours amigo.  Potosi is the home of a massive silver mine where you can go witness the terrible working conditions of the workers on a tour if you like.  Apparently you can even buy sticks of dynamite if that should ever come in handy.  We had already decided to skip this particular activity (some people we met said it was amazing, others not so much) and therefore had nothing to do but sit in the domed Potosi bus station listening to the ticket touts scream non-stop for non-existent customers...sucre, SUcree, SUCREEEEEEE! By the time the bus bounced into Sucre I was in a murderous mood.

Potosi bus station. Won't be making the highlight reel.

Luckily (for everyone around me) Sucre was nice.  For starters it was at a lower altitude than the salt plains and Potosi so small things like breathing and walking were easier.  We stayed at Hostel Gringo's for the first couple of nights which was run by German Mike who slept under the stairs like Harry Potter.  Mike couldn't have been nicer though and I would recommend Gringo's if you're in the neighbourhood.  The lower altitude also meant that we thought we could risk a drink or two with dinner...turns out that between four people 4 rounds of cocktails, starters, mains, a bottle of wine and 2 rounds of shots only costs $20 each!  Nice one Bolivia.  Our table ended up being enveloped by the dance floor, so we thought we had better join in too.  Great night, grumbly morning.

We were discovering just how cheap everything in Bolivia was and instead of rejoicing in the savings and the ease at which budgets could be met...we decided that it was about time to start treating ourselves to some of the nicer things in life....Hotels!  We went to a hotel intending to stay one night then move on...we had stayed 3 nights before we finally dragged ourselves out of there.

The courtyard in our lovely hotel

Anyway, below are some pics we took of Sucre for your eyeballs' pleasure, it is a really nice old colonial town with lots of whitewashed European style buildings and churches, some great cafes and (aside from the ever-present protesters in the square shooting fireworks that sounded a lot like gunfire!) extremely peaceful.

Up on the roof of a school and convent

Two local lads trying to woo the lovely ladies...the army guy had game, his mate struck out.

The little old ladies getting stuck into the road works! Not sure where the blokes got to.

Sudden downpour caught us out and made the cobblestones too slippery for jandals

Missing yams! Unfortunately our luxurious hotel didn't come with a kitchen

After looking at prices, times and safety records for the journey from Sucre to La Paz we decided to fly rather than bus.  It was reasonably cheap and meant our (my) mood would be a lot better on arrival.  Everything went smoothly apart from the Bolivian businesswoman seated beside me who closed her eyes and whispered prayers the entire way...that was a little un-nerving!

Next post shortly.