The Crippled Prince of Balclutha

Now this is a story all about how

our lives got twist turned upside down

And I'd like to take a minute as you sit on your sofa

to tell you how I became the prince* of a town called Balclutha

(Bolivian woodpipe and llama hide drum interlude)

In Central West Bolivia, city of La Paz

in the altitude is where we find a Mike and a Yas

Huffing and wheezing and puffing our cheeks

just eating some pancakes and wandering the streets

When a couple of guys got it into their heads

"Lets go hurtling down the Road of Death"

I got in one little crash , the x-ray was the proof yeah

"You're moving with ya mum and ya dad to Balclutha"

(woodpipe and xylophone)

I grizzled and I moaned but it was pretty clear

Our travel time was up, time to get outa here

If anything insurance guys were a pain in the ass

but I thought "na forget it, let's go home, business class!"

(woodpipe solo)

After 6 flights, AB's win and a weekend in Melbourne

we finally got home, off to the surgeon

He did his thing, I got bathed with a loofa

Now I sit on my throne as the prince of Balclutha.

*Like the English royals, the requirements for becoming royalty in Balclutha have recently been changed to stipulate that you cannot be crowned King of Balclutha without at some time in your life having been a 28 year old sickness beneficiary who lives with his parents.

If none of that is very clear to you then you should know that I (Mike) decided to mountainbike down the World's Most Dangerous Road with our mate Chris for a bit of a laugh and some exhilarating fun.  While I managed to achieve both of these things during that fine day, I also managed to crash on the third last corner of the ride! Approximately 600m from the bottom of the road (and a promised spa and buffet lunch) I got caught in some loose gravel at some serious speed and started heading towards the bank of rock on mountain side of the road.  My less than expert attempts to get out of that situation meant that I ended up flipping over the handlebars and landing squarely on my head and left shoulder. 

My shoulder was separated (see the x-ray below) and not dislocated as assumed by our guide who valiantly tried to "pop it back in" for 10 minutes after the crash.  I was encouraging him to get it done as quickly as possible, knowing that when the shock and adrenaline I had coursing through me went away it was going to hurt a hell of a lot more!  Of course it could not be popped in, and the decision was made to jump back in the van and drive back up the rutted, steep and winding WMDR back to La Paz and a hospital. 

The hour and a bit that it took to get to the top of the WMDR and back onto the sealed road was the most excruciating thing I've ever had to experience.  I closed my eyes, clenched my teeth on some rolled up cardboard and tried to hold my arm as still as possible as we bumped and jerked up the road trying to avoid all the other riders still on their way down.  Adding insult to injury was the Bryan Adams, Bon Jovi, Phil Collins and ABBA medley the driver was playing on the way back....Sorry Phil, but it wasn't just another day for you and me in paradise!

Here are a few snaps of the day and the x-ray to show the damage to my shoulder:

Game face - bring it on! Also, full faced helmet turned out to be the right decision!

Me and Chris at the top of the sealed section of the ride

Made it to the gravel part just fine, passing cars along the way

Pretty glad I headed for the right side of the road

When my shoulder was still in tip top shape

A little perspective view of the WMDR

It really was an awesome ride and a great experience. I had a ball up until the last part.

Chris and I at the last pit stop before the end congratulating ourselves on a job well done! This was taken about 10 minutes before the crash. Such good times.

That clavicle sticking way up there by itself....yeah it's not meant to do that.

The emergency department strapped my shoulder down and it immediately started feeling better.  They gave me a script for some painkillers that did a good job and said I should get checked out by a orthopaedic surgeon in a weeks time.  I took my x-ray and went to find Yas to fill her in on the days events....sorry baby.

We stayed a couple more days in La Paz to see how I could handle the strapping and painkiller solution and it was going ok so we took off to Copacabana and Lake Titicaca for 5 days...Yas was carrying a lot of bags though...did I say I was sorry?

We returned to La Paz (a place we were completely over by now) to see the surgeon who took one look at the x-ray and said in very stilted English "Surgery. Go Home".  We were a bit stunned and suddenly had to start thinking about insurance and the logistics of getting home and start asking questions about what this meant for the rest of our trip and future plans.

Our experience with the insurance company is not one we would like to repeat.  It took 5 days of phone calls, emails and finally getting really angry down the phone before any progress was made.  In that time the insurance people would send us one email a day just before they knocked off and invariably would try to weasel out of the policy at every turn.  Eventually we had to spend close to $4000 of our own money in conjunction with the insurers to get back to NZ. 

The insurance bumped me up to first class for the flights home but left Yas back in economy...so very very sorry babe!  First class has ruined all future flying for me. The painkillers meant I couldn't partake of the bar and my steak was a little overcooked...see it wasn't even that good Yas!

This was just the control panel for my seat! There is a button there that makes it give you a back massage!

We got a weekend in Melbourne to catch up with everyone. Soph and Hayley let us crash on the worlds most comfortable pull out sofa and the AB's managed to dispatch Aussie from the World Cup with a lot more ease than the final.  It was great seeing friends again (something we had both missed a lot when travelling) and Melbourne was as awesome as ever.

Cam, Zoie and a classic photobomb Hayley

Hayley and Soph, owners of the worlds most comfortable couch/bed

When we got home to NZ, I went and had a consultation with the surgeon who confirmed the Bolivian doctor's diagnosis and said it was a Grade 5 separation of the shoulder which had a couple of ways of being treated surgically but the best way was to have a full shoulder reconstruction.  So that's what happened.  As part of the surgery they took one of my hamstrings from my left leg and used that to replace the ligaments I had destroyed in the crash. 

I was barely aware of what my name was when Yas snapped this one

Since the surgery I have been slowly rehabbing the leg back to walking without hobbling and keeping my shoulder in its sling as much as possible.  The doc has said that it will be 6 months before I can play sports again, 3 months before work and 6 weeks in the sling.  Yas has been hanging out with her mum and family as well as being a fantastic and patient nurse for me!

Right, the last 3 blogs should bring you all up to speed on what Yas and I have been up to in the last 5 weeks or so!  Not the greatest story going around and it has meant that we are a bit short on funds for any further adventures for a while.  But things could be worse, I could have headed for the cliff side of the road and not the mountain side for instance. 

We have said a number of times since getting back "that's just the way the cookie crumbles" and it always reminds me of this photo I took on the streets of Buenos Aires...you just have to keep smiling and carry on ay.

Cheers guys.

Mike and Yas